If nothing else, my time at Zoom Tan taught me one valuable lesson: If something makes you feel confident then do it! If you want to glow then glow, baby! Just make sure you don’t buy the overpriced lotion. While I will definitely be canceling that yearly membership, I have a new understanding and appreciation for the fake tanning lifestyle. Honestly, I felt like a glowing, bronzed goddess. Luckily, after a bit of exfoliating, my tan came out surprisingly well and gave me a confidence boost I was not expecting. My tan had fully developed and I was an entirely other level unbeknownst to man of “sunkissed”. As I opened my Snapchat selfie camera, I was in shock, and, well… let’s just say I freaked out. “Don’t freak out when you see it in the morning,” were the last words I heard as I left the tanning salon.Īfter a restless night sleep with the Zoom Tan lady’s warning ringing in my ears, I finally rolled out of bed to the sound of my alarm. I somehow walked out of Zoom Tan that night with a year-long membership, an overpriced lotion I most definitely did not need and the second darkest spray tan available.
I was just here for the experience, you know? A single spray of the absolute lightest shade. Was I really turning into one of those girls? The car ride to Zoom Tan was one of self-reflection. When October struck and I realized that my summer tan lines were swiftly fading, I had to take matters into my own hands.
That ~srat~ girl, looking like the spawn of a (not so) Hot Cheeto and the peanut butter baby, sprinting to her Uber in her white Air Force 1s because if a drop of rain touches her, she will look splotchy at date night, and her life will consequently be ruined. But much to surprise, everything changed when I came to Syracuse and the Zoom Tan epidemic hit me like a truck. I used to think that there was no bond stronger than spray tans and dirty Jersey (other than Snooki & JWoww of course). If spotting the worst fake tan the week of prom was a sport, I would have undoubtedly graduated high school as captain of the varsity team. I have seen just about every spray tan in the book. Let me preface this by saying I’m from New Jersey.
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